ROLL CALL
WELCOME to the first of many blogs to come! This week’s topic: ROLL CALL!
Often times my phone rings or my inbox dings because a person has reached their wits-end. An Organizing Service Inquiry is typically a SOS signal from the trenches- flares are up and emergency plan is in action. The humans? They’re tired, they’re exhausted, and the mess…. well it’s everywhere. Let’s be honest, they’re fed up. Between trying to survive the chaos of raising children, extra-curricular activities, maintaining a home, building a career, mastering self-care, and attempting to make time for any resemblance of a social life that (maybe) remains.
On the other end of the phone, I hear their exhaustion. I hear the weight in their voice, the shattered remains of hope, the embarrassment of calling a stranger, and the heaviness they’ve shouldered through it all. In most cases, I’m the last call. There’s often a final straw event that broke the camel’s back where a parent just said, “Enough is enough. I need help. I can’t do this.” Admitting this may bring a little joy, slight sense of hope, and some relief. However, if we’re being honest, that’s quickly followed by Molotov Cocktail of feelings. It’s a house special of guilt, shame, embarrassment, and fear of judgement. That’s not exactly the concoction that makes people jump on the bandwagon of hiring a Professional Organizer.
Calling me or any Professional Organizer for that matter isn’t typically the first choice for most people. I find most people have watched countless organizing videos on TikTok or Instagram and read the organization books. They’ve tried the organizing binders, whiteboard schedules, all the cute labels, bought all the organizing bins, and yet they find little to no reprieve.
I wish people didn’t feel like they had to wait until they feel defeated to reach out, but I know asking for help is so much easier said than done. Even the thought of asking for help can be debilitating for some. Remember the feelings cocktail? Yeah, that tends to play a role in this. So, here’s some things I genuinely want people to know about reaching out to a Professional Organizer:
You don’t have to wait until the final straw to call. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own. Humans are meant to thrive in communities, not alone. Whether you’re a parent, widow, business owner, college student, or just finding your way in the world- please don’t feed yourself the lie that you have to be alone to survive.
There’s no judgement. Life sometimes evolves quicker than a human is able to process. Building a foundation in your career, having and raising children, managing a home and finances, taking care of yourself, supporting your parents, fostering a healthy relationship with loved ones- it’s all hard. There is no manual. We all have a story, embrace yours- even the hard parts. I didn’t get to where I am today without my mistakes, and trust me there’s plenty to go around. I’m just honored that you’ve allowed me to join your on your journey of life. Which leads me to my next point.
I promise you don’t need to justify why you’re calling or reaching out. BUT, I find most people find comfort and relief in sharing their story. It’s a great way to process and gain an understanding of yourself. I also find that so many people tend to isolate themselves from friends, families, society because they’re embarrassed by the state of their home or space. When someone reaches out, they’ve often walked that lonely road for a while. I’m just here to join you on the walk. You are always welcome to share your story, but please don’t share it as a means to justify. You’re human- you’re allowed to call for help. Please don’t feel like you need to explain, I’m not judging.
Let’s talk APOLOGIES.
THROW THEM OUT THE WINDOW!! Let that North Dakota wind sweep them away with the force of a hurricane. I think almost every client has apologized “for the mess”. DON’T. I mean it. It only adds to your guilt and we’re trying to kick that sh*t out the window too. IT’S A FIRE SALE! Everything goes- Guilt, Shame, Self-Degradation, Bad Habits, Apologies, Guilt, Empty Toilet Paper Rolls, Broken Toys, Mismatched Tupperware Lids, Bad Relationships, The "Just-In-Case” Theory, and did I say Guilt? Yeah, chuck that in a black garbage bag (if you’ve hired me to organize, you know), and chuck it out the window. No regrets, no apologies. We no longer have time for the things that hold us back.
Speaking of things that hold us back. Let’s talk about ROLL CALL. I find most clients reach out because they feel overwhelmed by the weight and responsibility of it all. That includes the jam-packed schedules, the dress-up days at school, the doctor appointments, family heirlooms staring at them from the forbidden doom closet, the consumerism society, and the one-(wo)man-show. The One-(Wo)man-Show is thee biggest culprit. You’re often trying to do it all yourself. I’m going to sounds like that overbearing auntie who terrified you as a child….STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!
Take a roll call. Moms, I’m looking at you. You don’t need to do it all yourself. Get the kids involved, get the spouse on board, reach out to family, phone a friend, find a community. I said community, NOT a cult. Felt like I needed that disclaimer with the black hole of internet schemes these days. I know that asking for help, getting the kids/your spouse involved isn’t easy. Neither is running on fumes and destroying yourself. Choose which hard work you need to implement in order to create the outcome you want. Kids thrive in the long run when they’ve been taught independent living skills. Set them up for success now, and give yourself a break along the way.
Lastly, this one goes out to the Perfectionists. As a Perfectionist Recovery Peer, I urge you to listen up. Your house doesn’t have to be perfect, spotless, free from all traces of children, or any signs of life. Signs of life are good, they mean we’re living. The kids’ socks don’t need to be perfectly folded and categorized. Sure, it looks amazing and brings a weird sense of joy for being perfectly organized socks. But if little 5-year-old Noah learned which socks match and what drawer they go in- you’ve crushed it as a parent. As long as the skills matches their adjusted age or the effort is there- I’d say you’re doing alright. Moral of it all, enlist help before it’s too late. Call a Professional Organizer if you don’t know where to start, most of us do FREE Consults and we just want to see you succeed.
I could go on for countless paragraphs, but you’re a busy person and have people you need to call. So, delegate that TO DO list and I’ll catch you on the next one.
Sending you organized wishes,
Katie Parrish
